


this is the end (where we start again)

by MiraculousNashton



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), Sweet Creature - Harry Styles (Song)
Genre: M/M, Please like this, Top!Harry, i think this is going to be long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 18:21:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculousNashton/pseuds/MiraculousNashton
Summary: At 9am Louis Tomlinson walks into the wrong hotel room and finds his ex-soulmate drunk, half unconscious, and with his dick half out. At 9:02 he realizes that he still misses him. And at 9:03 his fiancé comes to find him.or the one in which Louis and Harry get a second chance when they really shouldn’t.





	this is the end (where we start again)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first Larry fic I think I'm going to really commit to. It's my first time writing something long like this, so I really hope it works out! Enjoy!

—

Louis is happy. He really, really is. He looks up at his fiancé, Eddie, as he takes a bite of his omelet. It’s an expensive restaurant, and he really should feel lucky. It was Louis’ idea to go on a pre-honeymoon, a celebration of their engagement. Eddie asks him something about his food and how he likes it, and Louis gives him a half-hearted answer. He’s a bit more focused on the music playing softly through the speakers. It’s a familiar melody that he can’t place.

Eddie knocks his shin lightly, looking at him with a soft smile. “You okay, Lou?” he asks gently. Louis nods on instinct. He rests his arm on the table and makes a grabby hand. Eddie laughs and places his hand in Louis’, giving it a light squeeze, and Louis looks at the way their hands intertwine. Eddie’s hand is a bit smaller than Louis’, but Louis’s fingers are longer, and it just doesn’t work. He doesn’t pay it much mind, opting to look up at Eddie again. He is met with brown eyes, full of love and thoughts, and a life that he was not a part of. Nothing will ever be quite right, but, 

“I love you, yeah?” 

“I love you too, Lou.” 

—

They’re walking back to their hotel room when Eddie realizes that he left his wallet in the car. He watches as Eddie walks back to the elevator to go back down the sixteen floors to the parking lot. Louis turns away as the elevator doors close, blowing a kiss, and beginning to walk. Room 607. He pauses outside the door to the room. It’s already open. He assumes it was housekeeping, and he enters slowly, however, he is assaulted with the smell of alcohol. It’s overwhelming, especially for 9 am on a Sunday. Louis takes a slow step inside.

A boy younger than him lay surrounded by broken beer bottles, his dick half out of his jeans, and, Louis realizes, this is definitely not his room. The boy moves his head towards Louis, who has an apology on his lips. It falls away the moment the boy meets his eyes. 

It’s Harry.

The first thing Louis notices is how short his hair has gotten. The last time he had seen him his hair hung to past shoulders. Louis remembers how was always tangled in the morning. He remembered waking up with a mouthful of that hair each morning. 

The next thing he notices is Harry’s eyes. They’re raking up and down Louis’ body, laced with fear and disbelief. He can feel the heat of them as he stands there, frozen. He’s not sure what to do, if he should run away or if he should lay down next to him and tangle himself in those familiar arms and let the past three years fade away. He decided already that he doesn’t resent the boy anymore, but Louis knows that neither of those are options. He just watches with a dry mouth as Harry sits up, tucks himself back in, and rubs at his eyes. 

“Louis?” he asks, as if he doesn’t believe it’s actually him. 

“Harry,” Louis replies as confirmation. “I’m sorry, I thought this was my room, a-and the door was open and-“ He cuts himself off when Harry smiles crookedly at him. It’s his “you’re rambling, it’s okay,” smile. Louis nods. Unspoken communication had always been their thing, something that apparently is not unlearned with time. It is something that Eddie never got the hang of. 

Louis and Harry stand there, unsure of what they’re supposed to do, or how they’re supposed to act around each other. Everything was natural for them, being together. They could kiss and hold and touch and touch and touch. They were always touching. Louis’ hand would rest on Harry’s thigh when they were sitting, and Harry’s arm always found itself around Louis’ waist. 

Now, Louis’ skin feels like it’s on fire. He feels a little emptier than he had in a long time while he and Harry stare at each other. Louis tries to read Harry like he once was able to, but he comes up empty. Harry’s face is blank, though his eyes seem a little sad, confused, drunk. Very drunk, Louis notices, as Harry stands up and makes his way towards him. “Harry-“ he warns quietly, just breathing out his name. He knows nothing is going to happen, he knows that nothing should happen because this is wrong, wrong, wrong. Louis takes a step back as Harry takes one forward. They’re still across a room from each other, but the proximity has Louis heart in his stomach. He feels like he is dying. 

Louis glances at the digital clock resting on the hotel, nightstand. The time reads 9:02. They’ve been staring at each other for a whole two minutes. “Louis,” Harry replies, and Louis can see a smile forming at the corner of the other boy’s mouth, and he can’t blame him, because this is ridiculous, really. 

“I think we know each other’s names by now,” Louis teases, feeling more than a bit accomplished when Harry cracks a smile. It was always like this, he remembers. Anything to make Harry smile. 

“I think we do, too. How’ve you been, Lou?” Harry asks, and it's an innocent enough question, but the politeness of it all almost sends Louis into a fit. He knows he needs to stop remembering, he knows that this is over, it's part of his past. Louis shrugs in response and moves to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear and he sees his own hand and, oh, he’s engaged. He forgot. He literally forgot. He holds out his hand as a more appropriate reply to Harry’s question and tries not to wince as he sees the boys face fall. “You’re engaged?” Harry asks incredulously and all Louis can do is nod. 

He forgot he was engaged. 

It’s been years since he and Harry mutually broke each other’s hearts, and here they are, glossing over it. Louis forgot that the man he loves got down on one knee last month and popped the question, and. 

He misses Harry. 

It’s natural, he decides. Of course Harry seems appealing to him, as drunk and messy as he is. Because this was his forever. He was his life, and he lost that. It’s normal to miss that, especially when he is right in front of him. 

Harry shakes his head slightly, jarring himself out of whatever state he is in, and Louis sighs. 

I’m sorry, Harry.

“That’s great, Louis!” Harry says, plastering on a smile. “I’m seeing someone, myself, actually,” Harry volunteers. Now it’s Louis turn to feel his heart snap. 

“Really?” Louis asks, and, 

“No, I just said that ‘cause, yknow,” Harry says on a laugh, and Louis chuckles with him. “But seriously, Lou. I’m thrilled for you. You deserve to be happy.” The ‘even if it’s not with me’ goes unspoken, but they both can hear it. 

And, yeah. Louis misses this boy. 

The clock reads 9:03 when three things happen. One, Harry’s face falls as he spots something behind Louis. Two, Louis whips around, and three, Louis’ heart drops. There stands Eddie, smiling and seemingly on the verge of a laugh. “There you are, baby. I couldn’t find you in our room. Our number is 607, not 670,” and, oh. That makes sense. It makes quite a lot of sense actually, and Louis looks back at Harry, who looks lost. 

“Oh, silly me,” Louis laughs. He turns to face Harry. “I’m sorry for barging in on you like this. My name is Louis, by the way. This is my fiancé, Edward.” Louis offers a tight smile, trying to convey ten thousand messages at once, grabs Eddie’s hand, and tugs him out the door faster than he can remember. He doesn’t even look over his shoulder at Harry as he leaves.

“I’m sorry about that, love,” Louis apologies, but Eddie brushes it off with a kiss to his head and an “It’s okay.”

Louis loves Eddie. Louis is happy.

—

Louis walks into the hotel room behind Eddie. Room 607. It’s hard to breathe, knowing that Harry is on the same floor as him. He can feel his presence, he can still smell the alcohol in the room. Everything has been reminding him of Harry since the encounter. Louis kicks his shoes off and lays on the bed, motioning for Eddie to lay next to him. He feels the bed dip as Eddie lays next to him, and Louis curls into his side. 

He can’t stop thinking about green eyes as Eddie wraps an arm around his middle. He remembers the first time he met Harry Styles. It was a proper cliche if he’s being honest. Harry worked in a coffee shop and Louis would always give him a fake name just to see if he would notice. Of course, he did, Louis thinks, because Harry is Harry. One day, Harry had confronted Louis about it, and the next, Louis found a phone number next to the coffee shop logo. They hadn’t spent a moment apart after that.

Louis whimpers a bit, feeling his chest ache a little. There’s no way he can do this. This is why he always avoids thinking about Harry. He and Harry were special. They were connected in a way that Louis didn’t even understand, and Louis has never found that with anyone else, not even the man he is laying with. 

But Louis is happy. He has a wonderful fiancé and he is loved. He has it quite good. 

But.

It’s not like things were ever openly hostile between them, it was more like everything fizzled out. Neither of them ever got closure. Louis thinks that that is the problem. It’s why he can’t so much as hear Closure was what both of them needed. Closure. 

\--

It’s two in the morning, and Louis feels like a proper burglar in his own hotel room. He checks once more for Eddie’s even breaths, making sure that he is asleep before he slips out of the bed. He watches as Eddie shifts and holds his breath. Once he decides that it’s safe, Louis pockets the hotel key, opens the door, and pads out into the hotel hallway. Room 670. That’s where he’s headed. Although he would never admit it, he almost chickens out about 400 times but he just has a feeling that this is what he needs to do. 

Louis stops at door 670 and raises his hand to knock. He can do this. He really can. Screwing his eyes shut, he taps on the door lightly, and to his surprise, it opens moments later. He looks up and sees Harry peering down at him, his eyes questioning. Louis just shrugs and shoulders past Harry into his hotel room and takes a seat. “You’re not wearing shoes,” Harry finally says as Louis props his feet up on the table in front of him. He shrugs again, not making eye contact with Harry. 

“I had to be quiet.”

“He doesn’t know you’re here?” 

Louis shakes his head. What was he supposed to tell Eddie? That he misses his ex-boyfriend and was going to just casually visit him at two in the morning? He doesn’t consider himself a relationship expert, but he doubts that would have gone over well. 

“Why are you here?” Harry follows up with, and this time, Louis meets his eyes. 

“I’m here because,” he starts. He looks around for a moment before refocusing his gaze on the boy in front of him. “I’m here because you never said goodbye. We never said goodbye.”

Harry stares at him for a moment too long, and Louis begins to wonder if this was a terrible idea. He watches as Harry nods slowly like he’s contemplating his words. Harry takes a seat on the spinny chair near Louis, straddling it and sitting backward, propping his chin on the headrest. It takes him another moment to respond. “I guess we never properly said goodbye, did we?” 

Louis shakes his head again. “And now I’m about to get married, but we never officially broke up. Following me everywhere, aren’t you, Styles.” He sees Harry crack a sad smile at this. 

“Well?” Harry prompts. 

“Well.”

“Are you going to… y’know, say goodbye?” 

Louis nods. “Harry Edward Styles. We were good. We were so good that I think we both got scared of it, and we did some dumb shit and cocked it all up. We were young but we were better than anything I had ever known. It was always you or nothing until it wasn’t. What sick coincidence is it that today is the day we met, Harry?” Louis takes a breath. “What does this mean? I couldn’t tell you, but I’m sorry for everything, Harry. I’m sorry I wasn’t ready, and that I wasn’t as mature as you needed me to be at the time.”

Harry has a fond look on his face, nodding along to Louis’ words. “We were good, weren’t we?” 

Louis just sighs in response. 

“Say goodbye now, Louis,” Harry says, eyeing Louis carefully. 

Louis can’t. Louis really, really, really can’t. He tries, he does. The words don’t come through, instead, 

“I miss you.”

Harry’s eyes widen and his eyes meet Louis’. Louis feels like he’s on fire again, but he doesn’t want to leave. He is rooted to the spot, glued by Harry’s gaze. When Harry blinks, Louis takes a step forward, and another, and another. He’s right up next to the spinny chair now, can feel Harry’s breathing. 

“I miss you, too.”

And that’s all it takes, really. Louis seals their lips, kissing Harry as he’ll never be able to again. He finally feels like he is breathing, he can feel himself again. “Crystal,” he breathes against Harry’s lips. Harry nods like he understands, even though he doesn’t. It’s the song from the restaurant radio, Louis can remember it now. Harry reattaches their lips hastily, using more pressure this time. Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s neck. It’s an awkward position with Harry hanging over the back of a chair, but they both choose to ignore that fact. Louis bites at Harry’s bottom lip and Harry tangles his hands in his hair, and this is wrong. This is so wrong. He has someone waiting for him in his hotel room, he has someone that his entire family adores, and this is wrong. He pulls back, guilt flooding his eyes at the same time as Harry whispers “I’m sorry.” Louis shakes his head. 

“Don’t be. My fault, innit? I should probably leave” He moves to go, but he takes one last look over his shoulder. This is probably the last time he’ll see Harry, he realizes. He takes in his torso and shoulders and the way his hip bones show slightly where his joggers have ridden down, and he just. He feels, he knows he is leaving a piece of him in this room tonight.

“Goodbye, Harry.”

\--

Louis wakes up plastered to Eddie’s back. He peels himself away, cringing at the sticky feeling of his cheek, and the gross taste inside his mouth. It’s beer, but, oh. He thought he dreamed the night before, but after he left Harry’s room he went for a couple of drinks, and he can still taste it which means, no, it was not a dream. That means that Harry is still in the same hotel, that maybe they will bump into each other. Louis glances back at Eddie and decides not to wake him. He sits up and goes to shower and brush his teeth instead. If it were Harry in bed with him, he would have woken him up with a shower of kisses, or maybe a quickie, but Eddie is not Harry. Louis is realizing this now. Eddie does not, and will not ever be Harry. Louis steps into the shower, turning the water on hot. He still hasn’t found closure with Harry. If he had, then Eddie not being Harry wouldn’t be a problem. Louis is very logical. 

He stands in the shower for a few more minutes, trying to clear his mind, but failing. And then he realizes. He. Kissed. Harry. Styles. That constitutes as cheating. Louis feels his heart sink. Should he tell Eddie? He decides against it quickly and settles for promising the shower tiles that it will not happen again. As he dries himself off, Louis realizes that he needs to see Harry again tonight. He just wants closure, that’s all. 

The rest of the day almost goes by in a blur. Eddie and Louis go out for drinks at the bar on the third floor, they go sightseeing, and they sleep. Soon, Eddie is out cold, and Louis is out the door before he can even process what he is doing. He must have sprinted without even realizing it, because the next moment, he’s at Harry’s door. This time, the door opens before Louis can knock, sending him stumbling backward. 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Harry’s arm flies out to stabilize Louis. “Wait, Lou? What are you-”

“Where are you going?” Louis blurts out. 

“To the pool. Fancy a dip?” Harry asks, and Louis shrugs, cause why not. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” he looks up at Harry. “Lead the way.” 

They walk in companionable silence for a little while, and Louis, well Louis can’t stop glancing over at Harry. It’s weird to feel his presence again. 

Harry looks over at Louis and gives him a tiny smile as he pushes the door to the pool room open. The pool is a decent size, there are armchairs surrounding it, and not a single other person in sight. Louis watches as Harry places a bag he didn’t notice he was carrying on one of the chairs and pulls out a wad of towels. Harry looks up, meeting Louis’ eyes. 

“I just kind of grabbed the pile,” he explains. Louis watches as Harry’s hands gravitate to the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and revealing his butterfly tattoo. Louis’s breath hitches in his throat when Harry’s muscles ripple and he pulls his shirt all the way over his head and off, and places it in the bag. 

Louis can’t look away. He tries. Like, he tries really, really hard. But Harry’s back tenses and relaxes, and he flexes his forearm when he moves the bag to the floor, and Louis just. He just can’t tear his eyes away. Harry glances up at him curiously, meeting his eyes with a confused smile. 

“Is there something that you need?” Harry asked him, not teasing, just curious. Louis gave him a shrug, before pulling off his own shirt. He hooks his fingers in his waistband, before ridding himself of his shorts. He stands in his boxers for a second, not sparing the boy next to him a glance. Louis took a step towards the pool, not anticipating the splash of water that hits his face as Harry unceremoniously dives in before him. And, wow. Louis’s breath hitches in his throat as Harry resurfaces, his hair reaching his shoulders now that it’s wet. There’s a glint in his eyes that Louis can say he surely missed as he eases himself into the water, not quite as daring as Harry. He submerges himself, allowing himself a moment. He tries to process everything that’s happening as his lungs run out of air, and it's symbolic, really. He comes up for air.


End file.
